Several weeks ago Mel and I had arranged to have lunch with a third party we had not seen in quite a while. We were supposed to meet at 12:00, (High Noon). As noon became 12:15 and then turned into 12:30, Mel decided that we had some time to kill before we gave up and ordered without him. As I withdrew my Smith and Wesson .44 magnum revolver, (“the most powerful handgun in the world”)*, and took careful aim at the clock over the bar, Mel reminded me that sometimes I really took things a little too literally.

As I disappointedly holstered my pistol, we decided to tell each other true stories from our diverse experiences in business and life in general.

Mel is a natural born storyteller and our exchanges went on for several hours somehow also ordering and eating lunch in between the stories. A couple came in and sat at a table across from us at about 1:00 P.M. As they were leaving, around 2:30, the man stopped and said to me; “don’t believe anything he says”. I said I believe everything he says, because I been there, done that, etc., and invited them back for the dinner show.

With our stories, now field-tested, we decided that we’d put some of them down on paper for all of you reading this. I’ve asked Mel to start it off this month ‘cause y’all just got to meet Ed.

Elliot and I were having lunch and talking about what we were going to write next when we began sharing our work experiences. Since we each had our own businesses, we had many stories to share. Well, after laughing so much at Elliot’s stories and he at mine, we decided we’d write about them and see what happens.

I went into business when I was 26 after serving a short apprenticeship (4 years) with Gimbals Department stores. I joined the family business with my Dad and brother, after my Father had an accident. On his deathbed, (the first time), he asked me to quit my job and join my brother in partnership in the “Family Business”. I gave my two weeks notice and Baruch Hashem, my Father miraculously recovered. After 4 years, I decided to go off on my own and pursue my own career. The story you are about to hear is true and I am not changing the names because there are no innocents to protect.

I purchased a small metal casting company, borrowing my in-laws’ life savings of $2000.00, to give as a deposit on the sales price of $5000.00. We manufactured crucifixes for casket makers and funeral homes. My saying was, “I’m a Jew who sells crucifixes because from One G-d you can’t make a living.” I was the sole employee working 12 hours a day.

My shop was in Westbury, New York and I, the sole employee, was casting crucifixes when I looked up and saw this six foot three black man, wearing a fur coat, large black hat, pointed shoes with metal tips and a big smile. “Excuse me sir, would you be looking to hire anyone today?” he inquired. I nearly doubled over with laughter as I said he was too much of a gentleman to do the work that I do. This type of work required blue jeans and long sleeve shirts and metal-tipped work shoes. I told him the job required getting dirty and I didn’t think he fit the qualifications.

He turned to leave, but when he reached the door he said “ I’ve been out of jail for 6 months and nobody wants to give me a chance to prove myself.” He said that in his late teens he had committed petty crimes and finally the judge gave him three years jail time to settle down.

My heart stopped beating for a split second and I found myself responding by asking him if he was willing to work long hours and even till midnight if we had to? His response was a quick “YES!” Well, this opened the door to my first employee and to many adventures with my new friend Ed.

Ed was very quiet at first and simply would not talk, just silently sit and do his work. At lunchtime, he’d go home and then return for the remainder of the work day. A few weeks went by, and finally he began to share his life’s story. After a month, I was sorry that he had started talking because there was no stopping him.

He was true to his word and put in the long hours, but I began to notice that Ed had two left hands. If he was working on the drill press, the bits would break. If he was casting, he’d be talking so much that he would not be looking at what he was doing and would have minor accidents. This was not going to work, I just knew it.

Work increased and I needed to hire another employee. Ed suggested his brother Jim. I told him I’d hire Jim for two weeks and if we were still busy, I’d ask him to stay on. Jim was everything Ed wasn’t – agile, focused, meticulous. He worked like a fine tuned machine, he was amazing. Jim and I were producing a lot of product and Ed was starting to get in the way. I noticed that Jim would run over to Ed every time Ed made a mistake and fix it. He was doing his job as well his brother’s. Ed just couldn’t help it; he was a really fine young man, but not cut out for this type of work.

I’d like to share some Ed stories.

Selling in Great Neck

Ed came to me and asked if he could sell crosses and crucifixes door-to-door. I said yes. He returned the first day and related the following story…

“Boss, I took the bus to Great Neck, got off the bus, and walked past two elderly white women. One of the women says, ‘Look at that nig…’ I turned around and said, ‘Where, where?’ Scared the pants off me.”

The “stolen” car

Ed and Jim asked if they could borrow my car while I went into the city for a sales meeting. I said it was okay as long as they’d pick me up at 5 when I returned. When I got back, no Ed, no Jim, and no car. I called their mom’s home and was told that they weren’t home. I called my wife, Arlene, and asked her to pick me up at the train station. We drove to Ed and Jim’s house, but they weren’t there. Then we drove around the neighborhood and sure enough, there was my car. There was a group of Afro-American men standing on the corner. I asked if any one knew Ed or Jim. They responded with a quick “NO”. Using my spare set of keys, I got in my car and drove home. At midnight my phone rang. It was Ed. “Hello boss, I’ve got baaaaad news for you. Some white dude stole your car!”

Ed and the belt buckles

The company grew because we began to diversify. I had started to manufacture “Old Tyme Belt Buckles”. I asked Ed to pick up a shipment at the electroplaters. He came back, head down and yelling, “Bad news boss, bad news.” I said, “Ed, the buckles weren’t ready?” “No, worse than that.” “The electroplater ruined them?” “Worse than that, boss.” “You got into a car accident?” “Worse than that, boss!” I shouted. “ED, WHAT HAPPENED?” He said that he had stopped to view a motorcycle accident on the L.I.E. and when he got back to the car, the buckles had been stolen. “A thousand?” I replied. “Every one!” Ed paid me back the full cost of materials and labor for all thousand belt buckles before he left my employ, although I never once pushed it.

Ed’s new job

Ed began coming to work later and later and I decided to cut his hours back. First he came in at 10, then 11, then 12. He began complaining that I wasn’t giving him enough hours. I suggested he look for another job in the mornings and work for me in the afternoons, but “don’t come to work late.” He got a job across the street at a printing plant. He’d come over and have lunch with us about once a week and I was always happy to see his smiling face. One day he said he’d like to give me a tour of the printing plant. I agreed. As we walked through the plant, he introduced me to the employees as “my boss”. I finally said, “Ed, you’re not working for me anymore. I’m not you’re boss.” “Of course you are,” he retorted, “I got fired!” Silence. Welcome back Ed.

Ed eventually got another job, we moved our factory and we all prospered. Every couple of months Ed would come by to say hello and sometimes borrow a few bucks till payday, which he always returned on payday. If we had a new receptionist when Ed came by, he would announce, “I’m here to see my uncle Mel. I’m the black sheep of the family.”

Painting the building in Hempstead

I purchased a building in Hempstead. Ed went into the painting business. So I asked him to paint my building. I told him I wanted it to be the cleanest building in the village to set an example. I would always be surprised when I’d come to work and see the graffiti painted over with a fresh coat. Ed helped me keep it the cleanest building in the village.

He came a long way from stealing hubcaps. Ed, thank you and G-d Bless you, but the Employee of the Year award you’re not getting.

Well, Elliot, this is one of my employee stories. I’d like to see you top Ed!

Well, Mel, I don’t know if I can but next month I’ll try.

Shalom,

El & Mel

* Dirty Harry