Around the breakfast table

Fil, the youngest member of the Alta Kaka club, moved up to Maryland and said he really missed being at the Wednesday morning meeting with the “boys”. He suggested I bring my laptop to the breakfast table and he’d be able to be part of the conversation via Skype. I thought it was a wonderful idea and said that I’d pay for his breakfast and then have it doggie bagged for my dahlink wife and take advantage of “free pie Wednesday” offered by the restaurant.

The following Wednesday I schlepped my lap top to the restaurant and placed it in the center of the table. “Boys we have a surprise guest for breakfast; Fil is joining us from Maryland and will be giving us the report of the “Maryland Alta Kaka” club. He will be doing this while wearing a chicken costume and doing the “Chicken dance.” They responded with big smiles and happy faces.

I set the computer up and attached the web cam and realized there was no internet service. I called our waitress to the table and asked if there was wireless service in the restaurant. “Why?” She asked. I said, “Fil wants to join us for breakfast and I’m setting up my lap top.”

“So you want me to do a laptop?” was her response. Before I could respond she said “this restaurant is not that type of place and I don’t do lap tops and why is your leg rubbing mine?”

I felt my face flush and then heard a roar of laughter coming from the guys at the table. “She did it, she got you Mel!” She’s been waiting a long time and her opportunity arrived. Of course I began laughing too. I responded by telling her I’ll be eating my breakfast at Mickey D’s from now on; this place is too classy for me.

The Children are coming

I love this season of the year. School is out and that means the grandchildren will be arriving for their summer pilgrimage to us, their grandparents. This year they will give us nakhus and we will spoil them rotten so that they’ll never ever want to go home to their parents. They will be much different when they leave than when they arrived, and so will we.

We have been planning projects for the three girls and they’ve informed me that they are up for the challenge. This year we’ve decided to have a play which we will record and give them each copies to take home to their family and friends. Each child has a different role to play. One will write the play, another the music, and the third will be in charge of costuming. I’ve asked that they not be competitive with each other but to make this a happy fun project…every child is a winner in our home. We’ve also decided to do tie dye and to make hand puppets. I really enjoy the laughter that will return to our home and look forward to the tales they will leave me to tell. Of course I look forward to us all schlepping to the library and having a children’s story read to us and going to the Tuesday 10:30 a.m. $1.00 movie. The movie offers 1.00 drinks and popcorn so we won’t have to smuggle in hockfleish sandwiches like when I was a kid.

Although I know this sounds as if we are prepared to follow a logical plan for maximum fun and enjoyment, I also know that our plans will be overturned by these three beautiful and creative little girls. We want them to know Bubbe and Zayde are ready …so bring them on.

My father always said, "Marry a woman who has the same beliefs as our family."
I said, "Dad, why would I marry a woman who thinks I'm a yutz?"

Jewish Living Television…”Feed me Bubbe”

I was turned on to the Jewish Living channel by reading last month’s Gantseh Megillah, and I highly recommend the channel to y’all. One of my favorite shows has become “Feed me Bubbe” with Avrom and his Bubbe.  I record the show on my DVR and follow Bubbe as she cooks the same kosher dishes served to me by my Mom. As I eat each prepared dish, I imagine myself sitting at the kitchen table watching my mom cook, and waiting for her to give me a taste of her latest creation. The memories of my Mom preparing the Shabbos meal return and once again I’m a child. The aroma fills the house and I watch the joyful expression on my wife's face as she says, "The stuffed cabbage smells like my Mama's", and now she too is reliving her childhood.

I’ve cooked borscht with a boiled potato, lukchen Kugel, stuffed cabbage, chopped liver, chicken fricassee, and I’ve received raves from my family. Our son wants to know if these are his Bubbe’s recipes. “Of course they are, where else would I get them?” So now once a week he stops in to pick up a special dish. “Keep on cookin’ Dad, keep on cookin’ ”

“Bubbe” uses low fat ingredients in her cooking, making them a healthy alternative to the schmaltz laden dishes of the past. The reason the recipes appeal to me is that most of them are basic five ingredient cooking, making it easy to prepare. She can prepare a meal in between eight and fifteen minutes. This is just plain down home kosher cooking y’all and anyone can do it.

In each episode Bubbe shares personal stories and gives the “Yiddish word of the day”. I only wish she had a Yiddish accent instead of a New England accent but accent or not the recipes are a “mechiah zu essen.”

If you enjoy cooking and seek simplicity Bubbe has some nice recipes. We watch the program on Direct TV on channel 366…tune it in and enjoy and ess gezundte heit.

These two guys went out for dinner and ordered fish. When the waiter arrived he asked my friend which one do you want? My friend chose the larger of the two fish. I said to my friend, “You see how we’re different, I would have taken the smaller one and left the larger one for you. My friend looked at me and said, “I hope you’re not complaining, you got what you would have taken if you went first”….ba da boom.

Enjoy the summer months and eat kosher.
Shalom and Love,
Mel, (the fat guy)