With a presidential election looming ahead, each day adds a new name to the slate of Democratic hopefuls. There has been some excitement in the Jewish community at the possibility of having a Jewish President, but questions have also been raised. Questions such as the placement of the Mezuzah and what of the Christmas tree? Will it be supplanted by a giant Menorah, which will be ceremonially lighted each night and will Hanukkah become a national holiday? Will the children be invited to search for dreidels or Hanukkah gelt on the White House lawn? Will the White House shut down at sundown on Friday and reopen Saturday night in time for Havdalah? That would be no problem; there are plenty of goyim around to shut off the lights and turn them on when necessary. Will there be a Rabbi at the swearing in to give the President and the nation a brucha? These are issues for serious consideration and cannot be tossed aside lightly.

As a Jew, growing up in a Christian country, I often felt slighted by the brouhaha of Christmas and Santa Claus while Hanukkah was always an also ran. Not that I expected Judah Maccabeus to come down my chimney - he didn’t have any reindeer or a sled – but I knew Santa Claus was out of the question. I tried a little one-up-man-ship on my school friends by telling them that I got a present every night of Hanukkah but with everyone talking about what Santa had brought them I admit to some twinges of envy.

So, with a Jewish president maybe there could be a general acknowledgment that Jesus was just a nice Jewish boy and would now feel genuinely at ease in the White House. After all, wasn’t his last meal partaken at a Seder – call it the last supper if you will – but we know that he wasn’t breaking bread with his disciples. The possibilities are endless. Can you picture a Sukkah in the Rose Garden? A giant Sukkah like the tree that is brought in from some remote part of the country to light up Rockefeller Center in New York. Visitors would be invited into the Sukkah because it is a symbol of hospitality and shelter. There is a tradition of inviting ushpizin - honorary guests – to the Sukkah and this custom is related to giving shelter to the homeless and food to the poor, which would be made possible by eliminating a number of state dinners and maybe a couple of weekends to Camp David – so appropriately named.

Just think how splendid Purim could be. A parade in full costume down Pennsylvania Avenue with Esther at the lead and with Haman bringing up the rear. Of course, there would have to be Hamantashen and this could be made possible through a giant bake off through out the country - prizes to the tastiest – with judges to decide the winners. This could also give an economic boost to the poor neglected prune although I’m a poppy seed maven myself. We mentioned Passover earlier. Bread could be burned on the White House lawn and the aroma of matzoh brie would be in the land. Being invited to a Seder at the White House would have the same cachet as being invited to any other cultural event and restaurants would serve matzoh, with bread available on special request. Perhaps a Seder could be televised so Christians who are unfamiliar with the mores of Pesach could more fully envision what the last meal of their savior consisted of and how the ritual was conducted.

The President might want to explain the importance of Tisha B'Av, marked by strict mourning practices, commemorating the days when the first temple was destroyed by the Babylonians in560 B.C. and the second temple by the Romans in A.D.70. With what has happened in this country in the past two years, Americans should be very sympathetic to both periods of mourning and destruction and would probably have no problem in adhering to the stated guidelines.

Last, but certainly far from least, the two most sacred Jewish Holidays – Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. December 31 or New Year’s Eve would signify the changing of the year but the real New Year would be Rosh Hashana. The President would go out to the White House portico on erev Rosh Hashana to watch the fireworks display and to watch the countdown to the New Year as a giant matzoh ball descends. Wrong holiday, but who would deny that any time is the right time for a matzoh ball? Of course, it would be a national holiday so everyone could drink lots of spirits and sleep in the next day. Yom Kippur, now also a national Holiday, would be marked by solemnity and prayer.

However, with myriad hats in the ring we cannot as yet focus on any one person and the possible problems and changes thereon. We can only speculate as to what might happen if such and such did occur. And one more question – If the occupants of the White House decided to keep kashruth would we Americans have to foot the bill for one more expensive set of dishes? For instance, we wouldn’t want a President who was too tall - - he might pass laws that are over everyone’s head. A short president isn’t a good idea, either – how could he be expected to think big? A president shouldn’t be too thin – he might look haggard and make people nervous. On the other hand, too fat is a bad image for other nations, reinforcing their beliefs that Americans have too much.

He shouldn’t have a full head of hair because people equate that with virility and the president should seem to have his mind otherwise occupied. Being bald, however, removes him from the hair length controversy and a president should take a stand on everything, even his head.

He shouldn’t look too young because the establishment won’t respect him, referring to him as that know-it-all kid. Still, if he looks too old that’s not good because the young folks will call him that old goat. A perpetual smile is undesirable because it will seem that he’s not taking things seriously enough. Nevertheless, he mustn’t look unhappy all of the time or people will think he’s having trouble at home. Glasses should not be permitted because that’s an admission of physical imperfection. Of course, if he doesn’t wear glasses people will wonder how clearly he sees.

He needs a good speaking voice because occasionally he might want to say something. However, if his voice is too polished, people will distrust everything he says. Being strong is important because the presidency can be a very exhausting job. Not that we want a president who goes around flexing his muscles, because then people will think there’s nothing up above.

If he seems nervous everyone will wonder what he’s hiding, but overconfidence is not appropriate either because unless he has a skeleton in his closet which he has managed to rise above, he’s not fulfilling the American dream. It might seem that all these requirements would sharply narrow the choice of candidates, but that isn’t so. What we’re doing is eliminating the extremes and reaching out for the guy in the middle – someone whom we know can’t be perfect but whom we like to hope, is.