That "C" Word

The first card that arrived this year said "Season's Greetings," which suffused me with the same tremor of emotion as a station identification on the radio.

Don't get me wrong: Winter (presumably the subject period) is a significant season in my life, for a number of reasons.

It reminds me, for example, that the sun is then directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, an important fact that might otherwise escape my attention and one which has, in all likelihood, not occurred to you recently.

Winter also reminds me, quite pleasurably, of why Firstwife, I and our begats fled from the Tropic of Cancer-cum-cold more than a third of a century ago.

Winter conveniently separates two of the better seasons up there, motivating the geese and human Snowbirds to migrate hither, the former to poop on our windshields and the latter to help keep Florida green with their copious currency.

It was also, in our former lives, the time for running noses, freezing ears, slippery sidewalks, persistent smog and falling snow, a substance now indigenous to greeting cards, ESPN events and reruns of Doctor Zhivago.

I still have vivid memories of the long weeks when, while others about me reveled in the brisk, nippy air, my body was colder than the proverbial well-digger's ass in Siberia. (Read that word, if it bothered you at first, as referring to a Russian donkey.)

It also provides mysterious gratification to those otherwise normal folks who hurtle themselves over the white fluff at great speed and even greater risk to their lives and limbs.

With notable exceptions such as that, Northern Winter is not - the popular song notwithstanding - a season to be jolly, at least in the view of this thin-blooded curmudgeon.

All that combines to leave me cold about "Season's Greetings" as a catch-all substitute for religiously-tinted exchanges of good will.

If one were to base his/her judgment on incoming mail, TV commercials, billboards, print ads and the decor of stores, offices and public buildings, it would be fairly clear that Ebenezer Scrooge's humbuggery is beginning to carry the day, with "Merry Christmas" rapidly acquiring the social acceptability of unmuffled belches.

At the core of the problem are the statistics that show an overwhelming majority of Americans who recognize Christmas as a traditional celebration of peace, love and good stuff like that which is usually (although not always) associated with the reported birth of a Jewish baby who strove to change the world for the better. (But we're not going there right now.)

The "Christ" part of Christmas is what, in relatively recent years, has raised the hackles and bunched the undies of a relatively few (but impressively strident) protestors who'd like to relegate the "C" word to the same conversational quarantine as those odious "F" and "N" expletives.

Aside: Some years ago, an attempt at compromise was mounted through the use of "Xmas" as a euphemism, but the policepersons of political correctness quickly saw through the "X" disguise and the subterfuge failed.

Opponents of Christmas greetings as such argue that it is an affront to those who identify spiritually with Hanukkah or Kwanza, or secular types leaning toward celebration of Boxing Day and/or the longest night of the calendar year.

Then there are those pitiable creatures who apparently get off on carping about anyone who publicly recognizes anything except opposition to public recognition of anything non-secular.

When I wish someone a Merry Christmas, it is not an effort to convert them to Christianity, to belittle their differing religious belief or to question their right to believe in the Big Bang Theory.

And if I see, hear or proffer Judaic, African or Canadian greetings from/to others, it is not a denial that others think otherwise.

Say what you will about conflicting theologies, political disagreements or constitutional interpretations, a "Merry Christmas," or a "Happy Hanukkah," or a "Blessed Kwanza," or even a "Wonderful Whatever," accompanied by a warm smile, will do nothing worse than make the world a little better - especially in that frigid Northland.

So, let's haul out the holly, dust off the religious displays of our choice, sing the hymns we prefer and greet each other in the words that best convey our hope that this happy time of year will BE just that for them, as well as ourselves.

And let's face it, folks: "Season's Greetings" jest don't nohow do the job!

Merry Christmas, y'all! (No offense intended.)