A Hellava Situation In Our Heaven-Rescued Land

Independence Day this year got off to a bad start for me.

As is my wont when my conscience won't let me off the hook, I mounted the treadmill, on which I have plodded a gazillion miles without coming a millimeter closer to the TV screen it faces.

On one of the morning talk shows, three female vocalists were just finishing a cold-blooded mutilation of "God Bless America," which should, in my not-so-humble opinion, be our national anthem; it was written threescore and eight years ago by no less a luminary than Irving Berlin and immortalized by Kate Smith.

Again IMNSHO, neither its tempo nor interpretation should be tampered with, any more than should those of Shubert's "Ave Maria" or Bing Crosby's rendition of "White Christmas." Hey, SOME things oughta remain sacred!

Ah, but these three cutie-pie caterwaulers, as do so many of their co-conspirators in the modern musical massacre, corrupted Berlin's pristine composition with distracting vocal tricks, near-misses of rhythm and other outrages that must have had the composer convulsing in his grave.

Yes, folks, in case you haven't guessed it, this creaky old curmudgeon is proudly included among an endangered species - the traditional (a.k.a. in some circles old-fashioned) American.

When a whole bunch of people sing "God Bless America," and sing it right, I get teary - and when a trio of song stylists screw it up, I get bathroom-bowl sick.

I also have a low tolerance level for people who disrespect the flag, not because it is a holy bolt of cloth, but out of reverence for "the republic for which it stands" (yeah, under God, too, as our founders envisioned it!).

That said, though, I find it no more necessary to amend the Constitution in this area than to add to that hallowed document a prohibition against passing wind in a crowded elevator.

Good taste, good manners, common sense and consideration for the feelings of others seem to be increasingly hors de combat in the current crusade for political correctness, being regarded by a growing number of revisionist thinkers and activists as corny, obsolete, smarmy and/or unconstitutional.

I oppose, for example, the extension of American birthrights and citizen benefits to those illegally in our midst and to individuals captured while engaged in terrorist activities.

The former group should be identified, evaluated and either set on a path to earn citizenship, limited to guest-worker status or thrown out.

If this means that I'll have to prove, on demand, my citizenship, so be it.

The "detained combatants" should be subjected to swift-and-sure military justice and deported only when they are, provably, no longer a threat to other humans. By no means should they be allowed to romp in the swamp of the American judicial system and provide a bonanza for defense attorneys.

I believe that reasonable fluency in English, already a requirement for citizenship, precludes the necessity for bilinguality in ballots and other public services.

In my view, outsourcing of and industries - mostly to enhance short-term profits - is creating a monster that may eat the young of our descendants. If it costs more to hire Americans, buy American and make things here, we should either be willing to pay the tab or do without.

In that same vein, we as a nation can't indefinitely live beyond our means and mortgage our future for current stability and comfort.

I deplore the fact - and it is a fact, folks - that our country is in the firm grip of an entrenched oligarchy, composed of elected officials who are almost unremovable and who owe their first allegiance to a ragtag and bobtail horde of lobbyists, rather than to us of the unwashed and unheeded masses.

Only to the extent of the scraps of pork they are able to throw our way through earmarking and power brokerage are our interests served.

The American political scene has become increasingly mean-spirited and polarized, as greedy politicians fight to gain or retain the reins of government.

What used to be a middle ground where compromise was found has become a wasteland, whereupon officeholders or office-seekers tread at risk of their political lives.

And what used to be recognized as traditional American values are sneered at as things of the past to be mourned only by the sentimental old geezers whose eyes grow misty when "God Bless America" is sung - correctly.

As for this one, it's back to the treadmill, grateful for his channel-changer - and fond memories.