An Explanation As Simple as A-B-C

This being the four hundredth column in my current series of weekly rants and ramblings, it strikes me as high time for a conclusion to remedy some confusions in modern life.

During a wordstorm breaking the 300,000 barrier, the past columny of your humble and bumble-prone scribe has run the table of human doings from womb to tomb, with occasional sallies into both the hereafter and the herebefore.

The following comments may, like liver spots and lagging libido, be the natural result of advancing age, but it's just possible that geezerdom and wisdom occasionally cross paths.

Countless flagons of wine ago, in then-degenerating Rome, Cicero shouted, "O tempora, o mores!" bewailing the times and customs of his day and suggesting that the world was going to hell in a handbasket.

Although not documented in recorded history, it is likely that either Adam or Eve intoned similar sentiments when compelled to don fig leaves and shift for their previously shiftless selves in their paradise lost.

Said handbasket has yet to reach its predicted destination, but its hellward progress seems to be accelerating.

That trek has been cited from many angles in many columns over the years and in hundreds of media.

Aside: "Media," as every Latin student learns, is the plural of "medium," now commonly used to describe meaty offerings that are neither rare nor well done. (Just kidding, editors dear; love ya all!)

Among the questions we've asked, far outnumbering the ones we've been able to answer, are the suches as these: What has become of respect for authority? And of the durability of marriage? And of decency rules in entertainment? And of civility in politics? And of patriotism? And of parity between crime and punishment? And of intimate family life? And of clothing that clothed more than it revealed? And of the integration of God (vs. sectarian religion) with State? And of basic learning in education? And uv propr speling in comyunikayshun? And of girls who know how to say no? And of role models in public life? And of negotiation instead of litigation? And of truly representative government? (And on and on and on, ad nauseam.)

Say what you will - or won't - about today's "tempora and mores," there is more than a handbasketful of behaviors bedeviling our human (often inhuman) society which are both deplorable and curable, for which (and I'll betchya saw this coming) we offer one of our home-grown, super simplistic remedies - this one as easy as A-B-C..

Behavior, the "B" factor, is sandwiched between the "A" of accountability and the "C" of consequences.

Cutting to the chase, where there is neither accountability nor consequences, behavior is unrestrained.

Much too often these days, fingers of guilt and liability are pointed at others when something goes wrong in our lives, rather than accepting the fact that we are accountable for many, if not most, of the accidental pitfalls of normal existence.

Do we REALLY, for example, have to be warned that drowsiness is a common side effect of taking a medication for insomnia? And should we not be tolerant of the imperfection of teachers, law enforcement officers and others in positions of authority? And of the vendors of hot coffee we might spill on our crotches?

We are accountable for what "happens" as a result of what we do or fail to do (that "B" thing) and should be tolerant of all others except those willfully negligent of our well being.

Following that rule would, among other blessings, unclog our courts and rid our streets of noisy - mostly ineffective - protestors. "Stuff" happens folks - let's get used to it and get over it!

Arguably, the insufficient severity of adverse consequences (the "C" factor) is the principal cause of human misbehavior.

When doing so was at the risk of an eternity in hellfire, I thought twice before glancing toward a girl's patent-leather shoes in the May Processions of my parochial school boyhood.

Whoa there, you liberal lads and lasses! Please believe that I don't favor returning to such puritanical restraints, but merely use that example to illustrate the impact of consequences on the way we behave, in both great things and small.

With justice so tortuous and penalties so often relatively painless, it's no wonder that so many politicians are on the take, criminals repetitive in their dark deeds and our nation drowning in a tsunami of immorality.

Just call it food for thought - and maybe thoughtful indigestion.