As Israeli Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, fights for his life, Jews all over the U. S. were adding additional prayers into regular services. Rabbi's throughout South Florida--where I reside for "der vinter"--will use the traditional way of praying for "der khoyle" (sick person), using the mother's name of the ill person. Prayers will be offered for "Ariel Ben Devorah," or "Ariel, son of Devorah." Other synagogues will pray for "Ariel Ben Vera," since Vera was Sharon's mother's name in English.

Remember the old "lid" (song), "A my name is Alice and my husband's name is Al. We come from Alabama and we sell apples"?

Well, today, Gwyneth Paltrow has a daughter with the name "Apple" and Sylvester Stallone sired "Sage Moonblood." Singer, Erykah Badu, has a child named "Puma" and Christie Brinkley's youngest girl is named "Sailor." "Madison" is one of the most popular names. "Vos tut zikh?" (What's going on?)

In the 1930s, the most popular girls' names were Mary, Betty and Barbara.

In 2006, we've got bands named "The Goyim Klezmer Band, " "Hot Latkes Klezmer Band," "Nosh, Lox & Vodka," "Shawn's Kugel," "Yid Vicious," and "Benny and the Vildachayas." (A "vylda khaye"/"vilda chaya" is an up-to-no-good character or a wild animal.) Benjamin Laden--Ben-- says that as a child he was often called a vildachaya. ) A New England's high school "kapelye" (band) calls itself, "Klezmaniacs."

Rabbi Bob Alper, standup comedian, tells his audience that "Sometimes I don't do jokes at all. I just report things exactly as they happened. For example, a while ago my daughter, Jessica, left a message on our answering machine saying that she had decided to change her name to Iris. I phoned her back and said: 'Hi, Iris, this is your parents, Bucky and Lou Ella.' It didn't help, she still calls herself Iris and she doesn't like that line either, but I tell her that it is helping to pay for her college education."

In Cynthia Freeman's book, "Come Pour The Wine," Yankel and Pegeen were blessed with a son. As Yankel looked down at the child he said, "What a shayn little boy."

Pegeen asked, "What did you say?"

"I said the little boy was shayn."

"Then that's the name...Sean...Despite Yankel's deep affection for Pegeen, he couldn't help regretting that a son who was descended from generations of rabbis should be called Sean."

"Onomastics" is the study of names. Shelley Winters, who recently passed away, was born Shirley Schrift. Time Magazine's "Milestones" writes that her character "gave men homicidal urges. She was strangled by Ronald Colman (A Double Life), and drowned by Montgomery Clift (A Place in the Sun); Robert Mitchum slit her throat (The Night of the Hunter); and James Mason drove her to fatal madness (Lolita)." Such "tsores!"

In North Miami Beach, Florida, there's a restaurant named "Bobbeleh Grill," and a second one named, "Bissale Cafe." There's a company in Seattle, Washington, named "Rent-a-Yenta."

Rodney Dangerfield, the hapless schlemiel and classic Jewish comic, changed his name from Jacob Cohen. Molly Picon was born Margaret Pyekoon. When she moved from University Place in Manhattan to Mahopac, New York, she named her country home "Chez Schmendrick." There, after a shvim, shvitz and shnaps, she and her husband felt refreshed to "flien" (fly).

US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, derives her first name from the musical term "con dolcezza," which means "to play with sweetness." And Sen. Joseph Lieberman's family name means "beloved/amiable man," as "liber" stands for "beloved."

The Marx Brothers real first names were as follows:

Chico - Leonard
Groucho - Julius
Gummo - Milton
Harpo - Adolph
Zeppo - Herbert

The late Eddie Albert ("Green Acres") was born with the surname "Heimberger." He simplified his name while still a college student because a radio announcer kept calling him Eddie Hamburger.

Rabbi Richard Rocklin, 67, of Greenacres, Florida, tells the story about a car accident that took place when he was 7 years old. The accident fractured his "sharbn" (skull), leaving him in critical condition. His mother went to a synagogue to pray for her son, and added the Hebrew name "Chayim," which means "life," to Rocklin's name.

According to Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner ("Freakonomics"), "Aviva may be the one modern Hebrew name that is ready to speak out; it's easy to pronounce, pretty, peppy, and suitably flexible."

And in "Freakonomics," we read about a New York livery-cab driver named Mr. Michael Goldberg. He was shot in 2004. At that time it was reported that Goldberg was in fact an Indian-born Sikh; he thought it advantageous to take a Jewish name upon immigrating to New York.

Today's "tate-mame" should be advised to follow these rules from Esquire Magazine - A Man's Guide to Life:

Rule #191
Men named Walter are taken more seriously than men named Jason. Also Billy.

Rule #465
No short man was ever named Orlando.

Rule #147
Never name a child after a continent, a nation, or a commonwealth.

Rule #122
Nobody named Josh is over 35.

Rule #59
Women named after a month of the year are usually frisky.

Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the mother of three sons. She chose the mainstream names of Matthew, Jonathan, and Daniel.
The name of her favorite vacation spot? Martha's Vin-Yid!