Moishe one fine afternoon takes a walk in the forest near his home. After a while he has to relieve himself. This he does by squatting behind some bushes. There is no toilet paper so he wipes himself with some nearby leaves. After a while his backside begins to itch unbearably. Moishes quickly returns home calls a taxi and goes to the doctor.
“Moishe I got some bad news. You appear to have wiped yourself with poison ivy,” says the doctor.
“Oh my G-d what am I going to do?” cries Moishe. “The itching is driving me crazy.”
“Don’t worry,” counsels the doctor. Here is some Sedlitz Powder. Go home and put one packet in a gallon of warm water and soak your bottom in it for thirty minutes every four hours. It will take the itching away.”
Moishe goes home and puts a packet of powder into a warm pot of water. He places this in the center of the kitchen floor and sits in it as ordered. After a short while his wife Sarah comes home and starts to scream at the sight of him sitting naked in a pot in the middle of the kitchen floor.
“Moishe bist meshuga? Vos tist du? Vos tist du?”
Moishe screams back trying to explain: the woods, the leaves, the doctor, the poison ivy, the powder etc etc.
“Ivy shmyvy,” she screams back. “Nem aroyse dien fleischedickeh toochess fun der milichdickeh tepple.”