It’s Mel’s turn for the “Can You Top This One” series which started two months ago, and so there is not too much from me. Meeting Tyndall for the first time, (in this story), was a wonderful experience for me… We hope it’ll be the same for you.

My Friend Tyndall

I met Tyndall during the late seventies. I was manufacturing miniature pewter sculptures and had advertised for sales reps.

He was one of the reps that answered the ad; he lived in Memphis Tennessee, and that was his territory.

At first our relationship was strictly business- he sent in orders on a regular basis and I mailed him his commission check. Then he said he’d represent the product at a trade show. I don’t recall exactly what happened, but he failed to return the samples after the show and I withheld his commission check. This went on for a few months and we parted ways, he with my samples and me with the check.

About a year later I was working the Atlanta gift show and this tall, stocky, guy that looks like Andy Griffith and sounds like him walks into my exhibit and begins to look around. I notice his name and know who he is. He says,” I know how to sell pewter, I repped a pewter line until a year ago.” I said” Mr. Pruitt, this is the line you repped and if you’d be kind enough to return my samples, I have a check waiting for you.” He said” if you send the check I’ll return the samples.” I said” I’m an honest man and never cheated anyone,”. He responded with like words and with that began a friendship that has lasted these 25 years.

In those days I personally would exhibit at 40 trade shows a year and asked Tyndall where he was exhibiting next…he said Dallas. I was heading there too and asked if he’d like to split the cost of a room, and we did that at many shows thru the years. We “bunked” together and that led to a close friendship. I’d like to share what I call the Tyndall Stories.

“Don’t Steal the Towels”

We were staying in a cheap motel; don’t think it cost more than $50.00 a week each. I would shower in the a.m. and then again when I returned that night after a days work. Tyndall did the same and we lacked enough towels to do this. We went to the front desk and asked for additional towels. An older, chubby, grey haired, woman handed us the towels and began to lecture us about not stealing the towels and how they had caught someone the week before who had taken towels and they had them arrested. “Ma’am, we would never consider stealing, we’re not that kind of people” Tyndall responded. As we walked to the room, under his breath, he complained about the woman….how could she, how could she…as we were going to sleep…how could she, how could she…5 days later he was still complaining about her. I told him to ease up and it was nothing personal….Oh yeah…how could she…

Well, it was time to pack up and leave to the next trade show and Tyndall was in the bathroom checking to see If anything was left behind when I noticed the stack of towels that we hadn’t used still sitting on the credenza. I hurriedly picked them up and placed them in his suitcase, and jotted “how could she” on a piece of paper. I didn’t say a word of what I’d done…When I arrived at the next trade show I received a phone call from him. He was not happy. It turns out that when he got home he opened his suitcase, noticed the towels and started laughing hysterically and then found a motel that was part of the chain and returned the towels…that’s Tyndall.

From that point on I became his worst nightmare. When we worked the same trade show, he’d drive to a supermarket and pick up refreshments for the week. I’d always buy a Styrofoam cooler which we’d use and then Tyndall would take it home with him. There came a point, over the years that there were so many coolers in his garage that he had difficulty parking his van. Well at the next show, I took the ice bucket from the room and put it in the cooler. The same scenario took place again, with him returning it to another motel in the chain…Over the years he got a yellow pages, bible, assorted soaps, towels, always returning them to another motel in the chain. I think I would never have done it, if he didn’t always return them.

“The Restaurant Adventures”

When working trade shows, at the end of each day we’d all go out to eat and invite others to join us. So, the group could range from 5 or 6 upwards to a dozen people. As we were being seated Tyndall would always look around for people eating by themselves. We’d invite them to join us and before the evening was up we had made another new friend. We did this because we know how lonely it can be when we're away from our families. We had different shtick we’d pull on each other when we we’d go out to eat. Inevitably someone would order a cake and sing happy birthday to someone at the table, even if it was not their birthday. I remember doing that to Tyndall about 10 times in one show season; it didn’t take much to make us smile. One of my big things was I’d take the napkin on the table and wrap it around my neck like an ascot, then tell the waiter I didn’t get a napkin. Tyndall would always point to my neck. I think we met our match one time in Dallas. We’d gone out to eat, about 8 of us, to a steak house. The maitre de had left the podium so I went behind it and was joking with the guys asking how many in the party etc. when a young couple walked in. The guys stepped aside and the young gentleman approached me. I asked, how many in your party, he said two. I slowly looked at the layout of tables on the stand and responded by asking if they would mind sitting at separate tables…there was silence and the woman spoke saying …”I don’t know about you honey, by I’m awfully hungry.” We all laughed, the maitre de arrived, and he abruptly asked me to stand with the rest of the guys…Tail between my legs, I did. When we were seated I told Tyndall that I was going to order all the ribs you can eat. When the dinner came, there was one rib on the plate….I couldn’t believe they served only one rib, so I said “, I asked for all the ribs you can eat, why did you serve me one.?” The waitress said,” I’m sorry sir, you ordered all the rib you can eat and that’s what you got.” Tyndall started laughing and pointing his finger at me, I knew I had been had. The waitress was very amusing and the more we joked with her the more she joked with us. She went into the kitchen and came back with another baked potato and when I stuck my spoon inside it was loaded with sour cream, but no potato. Well with a crowd like ours it didn’t take long before we were all having fun and laughing. When the check came we started throwing large amounts in the pot for a tip. I think we must have given her about 40 percent, but it was worth every penny. As we were leaving she stood on a chair and announced to the people seated," You see these guys, all night long get me this, get me that, giving me a hard time." She had a penny in her hand and said…"and all they left me was a penny tip"….Well, she had the last laugh.

“Atlanta”

We were working the Atlanta show and I was greeting people saying " how are ya’" and" hello" as people walked by. Tyndall said this is the South, you have to stop talking like a Northerner. "What do you want me to say," I asked? Say "Good morning, how ya’ll doin’", he said…I did that and then asked…"Tyndall ,what happens if they realize I’m a northerner when I begin to speak…what should I say if they ask"?…He looked me in the eye and said…"just say I’m just maken fun of ya’ll. " Thank you Tyndall!!

“Breakfast”

I remember eating in a restaurant and being served by an older southern belle. I was walking to the bathroom when she passed me. I said" excuse me ma'm,. That man over there is my brother and he’s a northerner and every time we come down south he tries to speak with a southern accent. Through the entire meal she’d talk to him and ask him questions. He’d turn to me and say; ”What does she want from me? “ I’d shrug my shoulders. She finally said; “ya’ll talk real good”, and he said; ”thank you ma’m, I’ve been talking for 45 years”. She answered; “ y’all talk good for a northerner”. He quickly looked at me and slowly shook his head.

“Tyndall Tells a Joke”

When Tyndall told a joke, if he would receive a positive response, he’d tell the joke thru the whole season. Well somehow he picked up a “shaggy dog” joke. Here’s a typical one;

A chess competition was being held in a hotel and various contestants were in the open-air lobby discussing their victories of the day. After about an hour of this, the manager of the hotel came into the lobby and asked them all to leave.

"But why?" they cried.

"Because," the manager explained, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer".

We’ll that’s a short one, the one he told went on and on ….with the following phrase after each sentence…”I don’t know you, you don’t know me, we don’t know them and they don’t know us.” This all led to a similar ending as in the example I just gave. Well the joke took about ten minutes and every time someone new would enter the group he’d start telling it again. After that season I felt like not knowing him… Every so often I’ll say “Tyndall, tell me the joke about “ we don’t know them and they don’t know us” and he’ll tell it again.

What’s amazing was that Tyndall and I became like brothers. We’d even tell people we were born on the Mason Dixon Line, he in the south and me in the north. Our families are close and celebrated many happy occasions together. Tyndall, thanks for being my friend!

But in reality, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, they don’t know us and we don’t know them.

After this story, I must say that not only did Mel take the “Can You Top This” challenge to a new height, he’s also managed to shift the contest to “My Most Unforgettable Character”. That’s going to be hard to do since my most unforgettable character is Mel!

Shalom until next month,
El & Mel