Valentine's Day, 2004. Always a "spetsyel" day for our family; my middle son, Jonathan, was born on February 14, 1964.

Rabbi Jack Moline of Agudas Achim Congregation in Alexandria, Virginia, said that he has "no problem with the individual customs of Jews regarding Valentine's Day. But the notion of expressing affection between loving partners is nothing we need to 'borrow' from any other culture. The custom of mutual blessing on Friday night as part of a weekly commitment to spend a day with loved ones, in a spiritual context is the 'Jewish way' of expressing love. And, honestly, the person who greets his or her partner with tokens of affection each Friday--flowers, challah, even a tchotchke--does not need to artificially construct an annual moment to acknowledge love and romance."

The Rabbi adds, "For me, Valentine's Day is inoffensive, but not so necessary. Never a week goes by when I don't celebrate the extraordinary blessing of my wife's love by telling her how gratefully it is returned."

And every week, at the Shabbat table, some husbands sing "Ayshet Chayil," a passage from Proverbs praising the wife as a "woman of valor."

According to aish.com, Joe Berman, a pillar in the Toronto Jewish community, who passed away on Dec. 10, 2003, left love notes beside his wife's morning coffee every day of their married life.

Well, to have a "bisl fraylaks" (a bit of fun) on V-day, here's a glossary of holiday terms from A - Z--from "Arumnemen" to "Zeiskeit."

"Amourge"
1. combination of the words "amour" and "merger"
2. substitute for "roomie," "Posslq," "main squeeze," "live-in fox," or 'Spose ('Spose they'll ever get "khasene gehat"--married?)

"Arumnemen"
to embrace

Betty Boop
1. world's cartoon "gelibter" (sweetheart)
2. wide-eyed, bob haired, garter-wearing femme fatale who immortalized the words "Boop-oop-a-doop"

"Bei Mir Bistu Shein"
"To me you are so beautiful" Written for the Yiddish theater in 1932

Bermuda Triangle
That awkward cruise-ship romance on a luxury Glatt Kosher cruise involving "dray" (three) people

Billet-doux
1. Love letter/"zis" letter
2. F U KN RD THS U KN B M VLNTN
3. Va_n_ Wh_te wrote this V-len_in_ le_t_r

Bodice Ripper
1. a romantic-erotic novel
2. Judy Krantz, Danielle Steele, Barbara Cartland, Janet Dailey, etc. Not Sharon Kahn, author of the schmaltzy books, "Fax Me A Bagel" and "Never Nosh A Matzo Ball"
3. The Bridges of Madison County

Conversational Hearts

Valentine's day "tsuker" (candy) with printed messages

Ex. STATISTICS ON WOMEN; Some 'Gut' and some 'shlekht'

"A harts iz a shlos; men darf dem rikhtiken shlisel." (A heart is a lock; you need the right key to it.)

"Hob mikh veyniker lib. nor hob mikh lang lib." (Love me a little less, but love me longer.)

"Durkh der libe farlirn mankhe dem farshtand; durkh dem farshtand, mankhe di libe." (Through love some lose understanding; through understanding, some love.)

"Far a bisel libe batsolt men miten gantsen lebel." (For a little love you pay all your life.)

"Farglaykh" (der)
Comparison
comparamour boy meets girl.
disapparamour boy loses girl.
eparamour boy fixes girl.

"Flingles"
Singles capable of only short romantic relationships

Flirting
1. To play at courtship, try to attract attention or admiration
2. A fizgig--a flirtatious woman
3. A prolonged gaze or picking lint off a man's jacket.

Forget-me-not
"De blum" (the flower) used as a token of friendship or, by lovers, in token of undying love.

Geshlekht (sex)
Once when Zero Mostel was playing in Fiddler, he was singing the duet "Do You Love Me" wit Golde, then played by Thelma Lee.
The number finished very sweetly with Tevye patting Golde's hand. But then Zero ran up the aisle in the dark and shouted from the back of the auditorium, "And that night Tevye had Golde!"

"Hartzeniu" - my sweetheart

Hallmarkphobia
1. Fear that your"balibt" (beloved) won't care enough to send the very best
2. Fear that "der man" will send you a card containing the following message:

TO MY WIFE ON VALENTINE'S DAY
I'M GOING TO UNPLUG THE TV AND THE BOSE WAVE RADIO/CD, AND TURN THE LIGHTS DOWN REAL LOW. OUR ELECTRICITY BILL LAST MONTH NEARLY KILLED ME.

"Isosceles"
The Greek god of romantic triangles

"Kushn" (Kiss/Kissing)
1. The anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicularis muscles in a state of contraction ("Di best meditsin")
2. Wordless articulation of desires

LASA
Love, Attention, Sympathy and Appreciation Jewish psychologist, Dr. Joyce Brothers, says husbands need equal portions of LASA.

"Lib hobn" - To like, to love

Love At First Sight
Romeo and Juliet/Nellie Forbush & Emilie de Becque/ Cinderella and Prince Charming/ Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse/ C. Everett Koop and Dr. Ruth (Have safe good sex!)

Love Letters
1. Cyrano & Roxane
2. in the Sand (Pat Boone, 1957)
3. A. R. Gurney play

Manage-a-trois
She and he and "de frage" (the Question)

Manilow
"di more-shkhoyre" (depression/sadness) brought on my hearing "di muzik" of Barry Manilow, Connie Francis ("My Yiddishe Momme," "I Love You Much Too Much"), Al Jolson ("Lovely Face" [Liebes Punim], and Molly Picon and Robert Merrill ("Sunrise, Sunset").

Matchmaker/ "Shadchen"
1. Yente--the late Molly Picon
2. Pinye Salzman, the marriage broker in Bernard Malamud's book, "The Magic Barrel"
3. Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis Bringing the ancient art of matchmaking into the 21st Century is just one example of how Jungreis reaches people. The Rebbetzin never goes without her little black book. She writes down the name of every single she meets. She practically claims about one engagement per week.

Myocardial infraction
Your cheating heart

Osculation
A "kush" (kiss) can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every women ought to know." (Mistinguette)

Penny Dreadfuls
Comic Valentine's of the mid-1880s to the early 1900s. These cards sold for a penny and featured such insulting verses as:

'Tis all in vain your simpering looks,
You never can incline,
With all your bustles, stays, and curls,
To find a Valentine.

Phase Two
Jerry Seinfeld's phrase for the second stage of a relationship, marked by "extra toothbrushes, increased phone call frequency, and walking around unclad"

Question - "Dos iz di frage":
Tevye's plaintive question--"Do you love me?" is the familiar example of a learned love. In Anatevka it took 25 years for Golde to reluctantly acknowledge it.

"Reyzele"
A song by Mordkhe Gebirtig about a rendezvous between two young people. Because of his love for Reyzele, Dovidl is willing to do anything--even become as frum as Reyzele's mother.

Romance
Sam Levenson ("In One Era & Out the Other") wrote, "If papas were at all romantic before marriage, they quickly shed 'the foolishness' as soon after as possible. My father never took my mother out before they were married, and afterwards only if they were headed for the maternity hospital, which in Mama's case was often enough to give her rosy cheeks."

"Singlemon"
Yinglish word for bachelor

Three Little Words
1. "Ich hob deer leib" (I love you.)
2. Let's eat out.

Zeiskeit
Sweet thing, sweetie
____________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe will celebrate her 45th Valentine's Day with her husband, Howard. Look for her soon-to-be-published book titled, "Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons Of Mass Instruction? Yiddish Trivia."