"Der shprits" is Yiddish for "the shower"

According to Jerry Silverman ("The Yiddish Song Book"), Yiddish songs tell us "altsding"--everything. "Everything from the first conversation between a boy and a girl to an age-old dialogue between man and the Almighty. From the hand holding the plow to the hand holding the gun.. From the blacksmith shop to the shtetl to the sweatshop of New York. From shul to ghetto to concentration camp...everything."

Yes, "Es iz gut tsu zingen un tantsen." (It is good to sing and dance.)

Nearly 40% of people admit to singing in "der shprits." I must confess that I'm one of them.

According to Pamela S. Phillips ("Singing For Dummies"), "There's nothing better than singing in the shower...It's time for Pavarotti to step down and for you to step up as monarch of songdom."

Before meeting my "bashert," I sang "Vuszhe Vils Tu?" (What Do You Want?) The words:

What do you want, what do you want?
A tailor for a groom, a tailor for a groom?
Surely not!
A tailor's daughter I am not!
Sewing dresses, I can not!
I'll sit on a stone
quietly and moan.
All the girls, they are getting married,
but I am left alone.

During the 60s, I was a mother of three sons and frequently sang, "Dray Yingelech" (Three Little Boys).

Upon the celebration of my "plentieth" birthday and becoming a member of AARP, I began singing "Vi Zenen Mayne Yunge Yoren?" (Where Are My Youthful Days?) It won't be long before I'll be singing, "Achtsik Er Un Zibetsik Zi" (Eighty He and Seventy She).

When my mother passed away two years ago, one could hear me singing "My Yiddisher Mama."

Over the year I've sung many Mickey Katz parodies: "Borscht Riders in the Sky," "Don't Let the Schmaltz Get in Your Eyes," "Schleppin' My Baby Back Home" and "The Poiple Kishke Eater."

So what's "di problem" with singing in "der shprits"? Well, energy Australia has conducted research showing people are wasting "gelt" on "heys vaser" (hot water) by singing and daydreaming in the shower.

More than 400 people were surveyed. The results: The average "shprits" length is 7 minutes. Families with "kinder" aged five to 12, spend more than "akht" (8) minutes in the "shprits." Women take the longest shower, particularly on "der sofvokh" (the weekend) During the week, teenagers spent the longest in the shower, taking an average 7.41 minutes. (My granddaughter, Amanda, can attest to that fact!) The shortest showers were taken by people over "fertsik" (40) years with average time taken being 6.54 minutes.

Time is taken up doing activities like "razirn zikh" (shaving), playing with toys, singing, daydreaming and brushing the teeth. Do they really need to do all of that in the "shpritz"? Can't it be done over the "opgos" (sink)?

500,000 shower timers have been sent to families in Sydney in the Hunter & Central coast regions to remind them to be more energy "beryesh" (efficient). Families can save $100 a year on "elektre" bills if they cut back their shower times. It's a "gut" idea!

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Marjorie's Hanukkah gift-wish list includes an American Idol AM/FM Radio with a convenient suction cup holder for singing in the shower. Her "tsuzogn" (promise): to never sing that popular song from South Pacific, "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair."