I recently had the pleasure of seeing the off-Broadway show, "A Jew Grows in Brooklyn," starring Jake Ehrenreich. The Playbill contains a glossary of 10 Yiddish words: Bubbe, Bubbele, Tate, Tatela, Tanta, Shoah, Shtetl, Oy abroch!, Tummler and Mentsch. A "Mentsch" is defined as "a good person."

Jerry, Seinfeld, you are NOT a "mentsch"!

I clearly remember the misadventures of neurotic New York stand-up comedian, Jerry Seinfeld and his equally neurotic New York friends. In the TV series, Seinfeld, Jerry lived in a medium-sized "apartement" in midtown Manhattan. His address:
129 W. 81st Street, Apt. 5A. It was well-stocked with breakfast cereals.

I recall the episode when Jerry's "apartement" had a flea infestation just when his parents came to town. And then there was the adventure of Jerry dealing with low-flow showerheads, which barely produce enough water pressure to remove the soap and shampoo from one's body.

New York City has a population of approximately 8.1 million...and there are equally as many stories in the "Big Apple." The average price of a Manhattan apartment rose to over $1.1 million and the average price per square foot has risen to $1,050, topping $979 in the fourth quarter a year ago. Yes, the market for a "luksus" (luxury) "apartement" in Manhattan remains very strong.

Jerry Seinfeld once said, "It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper." Well, Jerry, has certainly made the newspapers during January of 2007!

Everyone is looking for a "heim" or an "apartement." Rabbi Benjamin Blech said, an "apartement" can be "tsen tsimer neben Riverside Drive" (ten rooms near Riverside Drive) or a "lokh in der vant" (a hole in the wall) "vos past nisht afilu far a bhema" (that isn't suitable even for an animal.) Others desire to live in "No-Doz" (acronym) for Near Or Directly Opposite Zabar's, a desirable residential area of Manhattan's upper West Side.
So, "vos tut zich?" (What's going on?) What's the story?

Jerry has been ordered by New York State Supreme Court Judge Rolando Acosta, to pay about $100,000 in commissions to "grunteygns" (real-estate) broker, Tamara Cohen. The Manhattan judge has ruled that the broker is entitled to her finder's fee. Cohen, an Orthodox Jew, told the Seinfeld's of her religious constraints and that she could NOT work between Friday evening and sundown on Shabes. In February of 2005, Cohen helped Jerry find a townhouse at 155 W 82 Street. The selling price: $3.95 million.

Seinfeld argued that the broker failed to show the brownstone on the Jewish Sabbath, the day the Seinfeld's wanted to see it. The Seinfeld's looked at the house and made a deal to buy it without Cohen after they were unable to reach her and she failed to return their calls. They told the court that they didn't know why Cohen didn't return their calls.

Now, Jerry and Jessica are both "klug vi der velt" (very smart). They grew up in the New York area, and know all the real estate terms: FSBO (For Sale By Owner), Handyman's Special, "Herculease" (rental agreement so strong it can't be broken), and "Jerry Built" ("Heym" is constructed in a cheap, shoddy way). They've met many Sabbath observing Jews and know that "religyez" Jews don't work on Shabes.

Yes, we all know that the world stands on three things: gelt, gelt and gelt. BUT, one should not stiff an agent!

Jerry, your actions are "s'iz a kharpe un a shande"--a double shame on you. You're not a "mentsch"!

_____
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe defines an "apartement" building as "a place where the landlord AND the tenant are both trying to raise the rent."