Ask Rabbi Dan
by Rabbi Dan S. Wiko PhD
Rabbi,
My fiancée and I are having sexual problems and I don't know if I should go
through with the wedding. He says that he wants to abstain until we are married,
in two weeks, but we've already have been together sexually and I'm afraid that
he may have developed a problem. What do you advise?
Shalom,
You're not giving me enough information to work with. If you are both Orthodox
(or one of you is) then you have ignored the rules governing negiah/touching
and tzniut/modesty. If your fiancée wants to abstain for the next two
weeks, because he is trying to create the illusion that you have not yet been
intimate, then I would say to not worry about it. However, if he has either lost
interest in you or in physical intimacy with you, then, by all means, find a
counselor before going through with the marriage.
Best Wishes,
Rabbi Dan
