EDDY'S PAGE
by Eddy Robey M.A.

Last week, I saw a web advertisement for a sweepstakes sponsored by a large entertainment magazine. The prize was a weekend in New York, and included tickets to a "smash hit Broadway play". After clicking the link, my browser arrived at a web page which was topped by a large photograph of two young people face to face, whilst each held a dueling pistol in the open mouth of the other. Quel Horreur!

Seeing a description of the play sent my memory back to early last year, during another visit to the city. A girlfriend had been gifted with two tickets to a performance at Juilliard, and invited me along for the treat. We arrived in plenty of time to look around, and read the program which gave no warning as to what we were about to see. Yes, it was the same play.

The dialogue was off-color, and I was doing my best to be a good sport about it. Then, about halfway through the first act, the two young men onstage reached into each others shorts and started to moan whilst simulating mutual masturbation. Believing that sort of activity to be a private matter was enough incentive for me to leave, although I am aware that if it became a "smash hit", there must be a reasonably good-sized audience for sexually explicit plays.

I waited alone in the lobby until the intermission for my friend to emerge, and suggested that we meet in the cafeteria when the performance was over, which we did.

Did you notice that I was alone? Although the audience was almost entirely middle-aged and conservatively dressed, nobody else left. Okay, I'm a bit prim, but still imagine that since there was no warning about the nature of the play, more than a few must have been at least somewhat discomfited by such goings on.

So what did they do? Of course, There is really no way to be sure, but I can probably make a pretty good guess. After the play, a certain number of those folks must have spent their time kvetching over dinner.

That is why I decided to write this piece. Whether a performance, meal, or behavior is tasteless: there is no reason to complain after the fact. Martyrdom has no rewards, and it's terribly unattractive. I'm not a fan of Nancy Reagan's, but she was absolutely right in advising people to, "Just say no."

The world is full of blessings. If something is ugly, and there is nothing you can do to help, stop looking at it. Go find something beautiful, perhaps a flower or a perfect pear, then follow the words of the psalm and make a joyful noise unto the lord.

Copyright 2004 Eddy Robey