This is addressed to the ordinary Americans among us, to all you shlemiels and shlimazels, nebbishes, nudniks, klutzes, putzes, shlubs, shmos, as well as shmucks, nogoodniks, and momzers, and I might add any golems and dybbuks that happen to be lurking out there in the crowd. I just wanted to say that like you, I get mamish sentimental when I think about English and its place in our society. To tell the truth, it makes me so verklempt I'm fit to plotz. That's why this whole shmeer gets me so broiges when I hear these mavens and luftmenschen kvetching about it as our national language. What chutzpah! These schmegeges can schlep their schlock about the cultural and linguistic diversity of our country and of English itself, but I for one am not buying their shtick. It's all so much dreck, as far as I'm concerned. I exhort you all to be Menschen about this and stand up to their fardrayt arguments and meshugganah farschtunken assertions. It wouldn't be kosher to do anything else. Remember, when all is said and done, we have English and they have bubkes.

Submitted by Marlene Denenberg