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Published
March 7, 2005
this is column 39 |
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EDDY'S PAGE |
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| Issue: 6.03 | ||||
Can I Go to the Park? |
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| Child: "Yes, can I go?" Parent: "You can, but I think you want to know if you may go." Child: "Okay, may I please go to the park?" Parent: "You may, but your grandmother is coming to visit, and will be sad if she doesn't get to see you." Child: "I guess I should stay, huh?" Parent: "That is up to you. Would you rather go to the park, or see your grandmother?" Child: "Uh, I'll stay. I don't want her to be sad" What a proud moment. There were no threats or anticipated losses; the parent did not say, "If you go to the park, I'll punish you," or, "You will not get the present your grandmother is bringing." The child was presented with a choice between going to the park, or staying home for the visit, and chose to delay his own pleasure, rather than cause sadness. This parent has done her job well, and her child's decision is a credit to both of them. Most people have been through some form of the above dialogue. Perhaps, the question was whether the child should eat the last piece of pie, so that there would be none for someone else. Such conversations are how parents teach values. A child can do many things, may only have permission to do some of them, and must sometimes decide whether he should take action. Maturity is the ability to make, and accept responsibility for such decisions. For everyone, freedom carries responsibility. We can, for example, say or write anything. Since we live in a very open society, there are few legal strictures on what may be said. The issue is almost always about what words should come from us. The manner in which we exercise our freedom, is how we demonstrate character. Is it reasonable to state that, "I am a good person, although I choose to cause harm to others through my words?" This is a question which each of us must answer for ourselves. To decide that those words are more important than another person's pain, is a responsibility which ought not to be taken lightly. Try to remember your school days. You can probably recall something said to you then, which was so hurtful that the memory has never left. You might not remember what the person looked like, and you have long since forgiven them, but the words they spoke and how you felt are still with you. What do your words demonstrate about you today? Do they reflect the person you believe yourself to be, and want others to see? TZEDAKAH What will there be to say when life is done? Will there be any monument to end The chronicle of our brief hours? If one Thing may be told, some little tale to lend Gentleness to the memory of how We passed our years, then life was more worthwhile. Is there a kindness we may do right now? Small, but caring, act to cause a smile Upon another face. Then do it soon, Before the moment passes. Every chance Is brief. Our days are as the changing moon, All aspects quickly gone. Oh, let our glance Fall upon each other, and see the ways We may speak love, before we end our days. |
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