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        To Be or Not To Be Married 
        
        Good old Willie Shakespeare – what did he know about divorce 
in his time! Marriage – is it really worth it – it’s a double edge sword! 
 
A difficult decision today is whether or not a single can survive “happily” in 
the “COUPLES WORLD”. And of course SOCIETY, described by Webster as …. “an 
enduring and co-operating social group whose members have developed organized 
patterns of relationships through interaction with one another ….” unfortunately 
make it extremely impossible and difficult in today’s world to survive 
economically and peacefully by oneself as compared to being married. Yes, we 
can, as a single survive, but why do we have to climb all the obstacle courses 
before we can settle into our own nests. 
 
Do you ever recall hearing about Adam and Eve’s wedding? Cain and Abel certainly 
didn’t go through the hassles at school with maiden names or married names of 
mother and father when registering. 
 
Who and when did ‘marriage’ originate and why does our society frown upon us for 
having children without being in a marriage? We are told that marriage is 
defined as a commitment and an ongoing exchange between a man and a woman. Can 
one commit his love and devotion to someone without the expense and possible 
failure of a marriage? Since families have been stripped of some of their 
functions, the need for marriage is deteriorating. Happily, to be noted, the 
roles of the husband and wife are changing and bearing children out of wedlock 
is more acceptable.  
 
Life today, as we see it, in the fast lane, is still geared and will always be 
geared to couples. This is a hard, cold fact we must try to accept. Ever sit in 
a restaurant and watch an attractive, single lady eat dinner by herself? She 
can’t dance by herself on a public dance floor in comfort; or have tea for two 
alone in a café; or peddle a bicycle built for two by herself. Ever heard the 
expression “two can live as cheaply as one!” When’s the last time you had a game 
of tennis by yourself, or ping pong. 
 
Okay, okay …. Times are truly changing. We can find contentment and peace by 
ourselves, without the marriage certificate but you, Mr. Society, still make it 
so hard for us to do. 
 
Let me give you just a few pros and cons about single versus married from my 
point of view as a single female. For example, isn’t it great to know that the 
toilet seat is always down; isn’t it wonderful to come home after a hard day at 
the office and not have to cook for your hungry man; and what about just wanting 
to GO TO SLEEP! But then, on the other hand wouldn’t it be nice to have someone 
scratch your itch; or fix the toaster, or occasionally bring you breakfast in 
bed and even participate in an intelligent conversation.  
 
So I am asking you, Mr. Society, help us live in an easier, economic 
environment, without the rules and regulations on our sexual partners or living 
arrangements. Please give us, the single individual, (as one example) reduced 
rates as opposed to paying supplementary single fares. 
 
Maybe, just maybe Mr. Society, if you bend a little, then we’ll bend a little!!  
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    Elayne Kotler, a member of Canadian Writer's Society, lives in Toronto. A mother, grandmother and author, besides working as a full-time administrative assistant position with Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, is a very busy lady. Her book, Just How Many Roses Do I Have to Smell, will be out very shortly. It is a very entertaining book about her male relationships over the years and how she handled them  |