*A "Vebzaytl," A TV Show, A Book Deal?
The headlines read:
"Octuplet's Mom: I Was 'Fixated' On Having Children"
"Octuplet Doctor Probed For Violations"
"Calif. Octuplets Now Longest-Living Set in U. S."
Jews have always heard the expression,
"Be fruitful and multiply."
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach ("Kosher Sex") writes that there are four things in
America for which there is little forgiveness. The fourth is having too many
children.
"Looking down at primitives with 'too many' children is one of the least
acceptable prejudices in the West. (Boteach has 9 children.)
Several years ago I had the pleasure of hearing Rabbi Boteach speak at the
Jericho Jewish Center on Long Island. At that time, I believe, he had six
children. He told the audience about how he used public transportation with his
large family. People would look at them and say--almost with disgust--
"Are they ALL yours?" Few people said,
"Oh, what a lovely family you have."
In 2008, when the rabbi's 9th child was expected imminently, he found himself
pitied, and pilloried, wherever he went. When people said,
"Wow, that's a lot of kids," he said it's a shame that he didn't reply,
"Eight antique cars, or better eight homes around the world, for which I would
have been thought a success. But eight kids? That proves you're either a
religious kook, or someone ruining the environment by overpopulating the earth."
Kate Zernike ("And Baby Makes How Many?" (New York Times, 2/8/09) quotes Kim
Ginnup, who has 12 children. When asked at a Sears store,
"Are they all yours?" she replied,
"No. I picked some up at the food court."
And now we have the story of 33-year-old Nadya Suleman, who has given birth to
octuplets with the help of in vitro fertilizations. These children, PLUS the six
other children she already has, were conceived at the West Coast IVF Clinic in
Beverly Hills, CA. (Her other children range in age between 2 and 7; two or
three are reportedly disabled.) Oh, Ms. Suleman is single, lives with her
mother, and has no visible means of support. She is receiving $490 a month for
food stamps and is open to accepting gifts for the children via her "vebzaytl"
(website).
Suleman told NBC that she planned to go back to Cal. State, Fullerton, for a
degree in counseling. Once she receives the degree, she says she will get a job,
and be able to financially support the children.
Kaiser gathered 46 doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals together to
perform the delivery. If the octuplets stay in the hospital for seven weeks, the
cost would be about $470,000. If they stay 12 weeks, the cost would be about
$805,000.
Are there not some ethical questions that have to be asked? Why would Dr.
Michael Kamrava have implanted that many eggs?
Being a mother is so much more than just giving birth; it also involves
providing for the children emotionally, and financially. Perhaps Ms. Suleman
needs a dose of reality...or "seykhl"-sense/judgment.
Barbara Bush ("Reflections - Life After the White House") describes a trip she
made to an orphanage in Bucharest, Romania:
"Under the Ceausescu, the government encouraged families to produce many
children in order to create a pool of labor for the state. Many of them were
sent to orphanages, with the understanding that the parents would retrieve them
at some later date. As most of the parents were unable to feed what children
they already had, these children, supposedly on loan and therefore not able to
be adopted by anyone, languished in orphanages till they reached the age when
they could be useful to the state. At that point they became the slaves of the
government, undertaking such efforts as the Ceausescu felt necessary...
The children I was taken to visit were the youngest, those not yet walking. Some
of them were tiny infants in cribs, perhaps a dozen or so, lined up in a long,
dimly lit corridor. A woman, whom I judged to be a nurse (although she fell far
short of our image of the kindly, clean, and caring nurses of our experience,)
wearing a dingy, spotted apron and a martyred, sour, sour, bordering-on-anger,
expression on her face, trudged from crib to crib, bending over just far enough
to place the nipple of the bottle in each tiny mouth. Not for one second during
the entire process did a human hand make a contact with a baby. When I asked why
the babies weren't held by a nurse while being fed, the doctor who accompanied
me said that this was an unskilled nurse who knew no better. But I noticed he
made no comment to the nurse. I also subsequently learned that the neglect was
intentional, because the thinking was that once you picked up the baby, he might
want to be picked up again, and that would be all together too time-consuming.
...I realized how unnaturally quiet it was in that corridor, despite the
presence of so many babies. I also noticed how dull-eyed and listless the babies
were. They looked like little shriveled old men...I was witnessing for the first
time, first hand, the tragic results of the withholding of love."
________
Marjorie, who is the mother of three sons, agrees with Barbara Bush: "Like an
un-watered plant, a baby denied love, and attention, shrivels in its absence,
and could even die from lack of it, even if he is adequately fed. Nadya Suleman,
and Dr. Kamrava, ARE YOU LISTENING?