“… and his sisters and his cousins whom he reckons by the dozens and his sisters and his cousins and his aunts.” from H.M.S.Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan.

What is family?  Most of us would say that it’s the people we are surrounded with, and have no choice about because of blood ties. I guess that’s as good a definition as any but it refers only to the family we are born into and born unto us. I’m sure there have been times for all of us when we said “I wish I could choose my family”, referring to a family member who had somehow stepped on our toes, our thoughts, our aspirations, our goals, our self-esteem, our physical well-being, or by something they had done that otherwise ticked us off.  Unfortunately you can’t send back those who don’t fit into your life at any given time. No, they are yours to have and to hold because they are your blood, your family.

But don’t fret. There is good news. You can expand and extend your family. You can choose to be as close to anyone you want if they also desire it.  Take marriage, for instance. You start out with two strangers. After a bit you are not strangers any longer. Still later on you are the nucleus of a whole new family. 

Now before I give you my personal version of Genesis starting with chapter 10, (the who begat who part  for those of you not versed in the Bible), I’d like to tell you about someone who I recently lost. He was like a brother to me in the short time I had the honor and privilege of knowing him and I truly loved him and will miss him as surely as if he were born into my family.

I met Fred Sellers about five years ago at my congregation here in Jacksonville, Florida. He was the official “greeter” and head usher. He always was dressed impeccably with coat and tie and a smile that lit up the room. His handshake was firm and his “Shabbot Shalom” genuine.  Fred was born in 1918, which made him a little bit my senior but we hit it off anyway. He never let my youth get in the way. Fred had been involved in Hollywood, although I’m not sure how, and so we had show-biz in common, among other things. He was a native of Jacksonville, which is something not many people I know can claim, but I didn’t hold that against him. The most amazing thing about Fred was his love of life and his love for Israel, and of Judaism. You see, Fred was not born Jewish. He grafted himself in. He loved rattling off Yiddish phrases to the surprise of others. He was a joy to be with. He passed away on May 20^th, (my wedding anniversary). He always referred to himself as “brother” Fred and I accepted him and will morn his loss as my brother.

There are many more people in my extended family. A main character in my life is my friend and brother Mark. Mark and I met a mere forty-eight years ago and in the future I’ll be telling you some really good stories about us. We met our first week of high school and have been together ever since. I’ve seen him through four marriages and he’s seen me past my first and into my second and current one.

I had to go up to New York several months after my mother passed away to get together with my siblings and go through her things.

My children decided to come into town as well and so I decided to have a big family dinner at one of our old haunts at City Island, in The Bronx, New York. Although I made sure everyone was invited, not everyone could make it that night. In spite of this fact we were twenty-seven strong at that dinner. My father would have kvelled to no end. You see he was the only child of an only child. Well then, let me begin;

My older sister Sandra married Arthur and had three sons, Stuart, David and Marc.  Sandy is recently widowed. Stuart passed away several years ago under what are still unknown circumstances. David is married to Diana and has three children. Marc married Emily and has two children and one grandchild.

I married Naomi and had three sons, Scott, Josef and Jeremy. Scott married Corrine and had two sons, Zachary and Jacob. Josef married Michele and since he was the last wed there are no children yet. However Michele has given birth to a new company. She makes wonderful pure soaps and fragrances and markets them under the name of Auntie Rhubarb. You can check out her stuff at www.auntierhubarb.com. Jeremy, my youngest, was the first to marry. He’s married to Inger and they have four children; Benjamin, Hannah, Juliet and Nadia.

My younger sister, Susan married Alvin and they have three children; Gillian, Samara and Aaron.

My younger brother, Allen married Tina and they have two children; James and Alison.

There are also my first cousins with families of their own, and in-laws with families of their own.

And I can’t forget my marriage to my loving wife, Missy. She came equipped with two daughters of her own; Diana and Kelly. Diana married Joseph and has two children; Joseph and Victoria. Kelly married Ryan and has one daughter, Khara and another on the way.

If that’s still not enough Missy and I have a Siberian Husky named Fancy and three cats; Precious, Pookie and Tigger.

Now all of these above listed people and animals are family and will be mentioned in future articles I’ll be writing. There will be no test but if you can remember who’s who in the future you’ve got a much better memory than I do.