I retired at 54 and promised myself I would not view myself in my past identity but would try to recreate myself and hopefully find out who I really am. Nine years later I’m still working on it.

We live in Jacksonville Florida and when we meet new people they ask me what I do. My response is “nothing”. They’ll then ask me what I used to do and I then respond by saying “nothing”. I’ll then say I had my own business and my employees would say “there’s the boss, he does nothing”. Inevitably I’m drawn into people’s need to tag me with an identity based on my “careers”, and then I’m talking about my past life. I decided what was necessary was a new business that had nothing to do with my past and would allow me to just be me. I created Snowgoway Ltd. A snow removal company. My saying on my business cards I had made is “if there is snow we go. We remove snow thru the whole state of Florida all the way down to the keys.” We’re negotiating with a telephone company to do their lines and a few theme parks, I tell people to further the comedy. I’ll get a chuckle and then we talk about me today.!

Arlene, my beautiful wife, and I dined with another couple at the Ramada Inn for lunch. I was talking to my friend Howard and noticed a fishbowl next to the entrance of the Comedy Club asking for business cards. I smiled to myself and dropped in a Snowgoway card. The following Monday I received a letter from the comedy club. I thought it was junk mail and chuckled as I opened it up. It was addressed to Snowgoway c/o Mel Y. Why not, I’m the C.E.O S.C.M. of the company and I open all my own mail. That’s part of the customer service. :o) It was a letter notifying me that I’d won free admittance for my company and myself to the Ramada’s Comedy Club performance and could invite up to thirty people. They said we’d get front row seating and they would acknowledge the company over the mike, I assume. Wow, I thought, what a wonderful opportunity to be entertained. I called Howard and asked if he could gather 30 Seniors that want a night out and told him the story. I’d introduce Howard as Vice President of Marketing and the others as my Franchisees.! Can you imagine a bunch of 70 + year olds with shovels? I look forward to that evening.

Can you top this??....….

I spoke with Elliot, who has not been feeling well, and he asked if I’d continue with “Can you Top This”, so I figured I’d write about people I’d met.

My former employee Jim….

I had been talking about interesting people I’ve met when I had my own business. If you remember Ed, an employee of mine in the days when I had only two employees and was a fledgling company, then you’ll remember Jim, Ed’s brother. Jim was a diamond in the rough, some times rougher than others.

Jim used to ask to get paid daily, preferably before noon, at which time he’d cash his check and head over to the OTB. Sometimes he’d come back smiling, sometimes sad and sometimes he didn’t come back but would usually arrive with my car around quitting time. It was a Friday and we were locking up the shop. We chatted a bit and said I’ll see you Monday. Well Monday came and went and so did the next Monday and the next Month and the month after. I called, spoke with his Mom but could never reach him. I hired another man to do his job. About six months later I was exiting a Chinese restaurant, next to an OTB parlor and who should be walking out…Jim. “ Hey Jim, how ya doing”, I inquired…”things going well?” He shook his head “no”. What could I say? He looked at me and said, “ I‘ll see you tomorrow, boss”

I didn’t say a word to anyone, but the next morning, as if nothing happened Jim walked in and headed directly towards the centrifugal casting machine, his former work station. “ Where’s my casting list” he asked, so I gave him one. All day long people were smiling, I had no answer for them and never asked him what happened. Why, you ask? Well when I first started out in business I was short money and had gotten an order that required me to purchase five hundred dollars worth of rubber for making molds. I didn’t have the money. Jim asked how much I had, and I said “ fifty dollars.” He asked for the fifty and said he’d bring me back the 500…I had nothing to lose. The fifty might as well have been nothing, since it wouldn’t keep me in business, a business I was trying to start with no available capital. That evening there was a knock on my door…it was Jim with the 500…he’d won it at Roosevelt raceway . After that I never questioned his behavior. Jim was blessed with two wonderful hands and a creative mind.

Sharlene....

Sharlene was Jim’s step mother. She had killed his dad, accidentally, with a gun that she did not know was loaded. Jim lived in the house with Sharlene and she said that every time he’d get drunk he’d beat her up, It was difficult for me to believe, she always looked lovely, dressed well, no marks, so it was hard for me to believe that he beat her up. It was totally out of character for Jim. One day Sharlene came into work and her face was swollen, her nose bleeding, and she looked like a mess. She told me that Jim beat her up and took her car. I told her to lock him out of the house and get a restraining order to keep him away and under no circumstances drink with him. She did this for a while, but sure enough, he’d move back in and in no time at all the scenario would repeat itself. I was saddened and felt helpless to change things.


My grandmother died….


Jim didn’t show up to work one day and didn’t call in. When he came in the next day, I asked him what had happened He said his grandmother died. About 30 days later the same scenario repeated itself with the same answer…my grandmother died. Again Jim didn’t call in and when asked what happened …his grandmother died….I said I thought they both died already…He said” my father was married more than once. Almost seems like a riddle, with “married more than once” being the answer, doesn’t it!

The funerals….

Sandy Feinman’s dad had passed away and I decided to close up shop for a day and decided we would all attend the funeral service. We got to the funeral home and noticed a sign that said Feinman funeral and listed the room the service was held in We all marched upstairs and entered a long narrow room. There was a young couple there already and we sat down and waited for Sandy to come in with her family. We were there fifteen minutes when the young gentlemen approached us “Where do you know my aunt from?” he queried. You’re aunt,???” I responded. “Yes, it’s her funeral.” he said. Uh oh….. We apologized and quickly, quietly, exited the room. How embarrassing !! I then realized that Feinman was Sandy’s married name, so we returned to the main floor to locate the Markman Funeral. We had a hard time not giggling during the service, just thinking of the mistake we had made. Seemed like a skit from a comedy movie!

About 30 days later, Barbara C’s Dad (Barbara was our employee) passed and we closed up shop and went to the funeral at the Catholic Church. We didn’t want to arrive late and made doubly sure we got there early. Jim was smoking at the service and I asked him to extinguish his cigarette. He turned around and dropped it in the Holy Water.!! I said, “Jim, you put your cigarette out in the Holy Water, empty it outside”, he did and I replaced it with water from the nearby water fountain.

I opened the door and noticed that the service had started, so we all scrambled in and sat in the back row. I need to clarify this and say that the Church was not full and the last row with unfilled seats was midway in the seating plan. The Church was really large and one could hear a pin drop and a whisper sounded like someone shouting. I looked around for Barbara, her Mom or sisters but did not see them. Uh, oh, we were at the wrong funeral again.! I mentioned it to the person next to me and she started laughing. As the information was shared with others more people from our group of employees started laughing. I began shushing, but that didn’t help, so I said :”let’s go”. The funeral came to a halt as 25 people left the Church laughing and shushing as they walked to the exit. As it turned out there were two funerals at the church that morning and we made the early one.! Seems we were always too early , too late, or in the wrong place. To this day I have a fear of going to a funeral and laughing.!!


Elyid, I look forward to hearing your experiences on

Can you top this?....

Until the next issue, may the shmaltz be with you.

El and Mel, “The Jews Brothers”