6/7/2004
Issue: 5.06
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Hi Gang, and greetings from Hollywood!

In the interest of saving space, (not to mention keeping the mood appropriately high this month,) I am going to make the obits brief. But, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the passing of three icons of the industry.

Tony Randall, best known for his portrayal of Felix Unger in the television series “The Odd Couple” died in Los Angeles at the age of eighty-four from complications from pneumonia.

Comedy legend Alan King also passed last month at the age of seventy-six at his Las Vegas home from Lung cancer.

Finally, June Taylor, whose renowned “June Taylor Dancers” added glamour and grace to “The Jackie Gleason Show” for many years, died of reportedly natural causes at the age of eighty-six.

Now, I don’t mean to minimize the importance of these passings, but I have a far greater mission to perform here. For, this month, I do not come to bury Caesar, but to praise him! By Caesar, I refer to Hollywood, who released two of the best films I have seen in years! And, in keeping with the “Family” theme of this month’s issue, I am farklempt to announce that one of the films is the ultimate family film.

Now I make no apologies for the fact that I grew up with blockbuster epics and over-dramatized depictions of historical events. Ben-Hur, God knows, had more scenery chewing than ‘The Langolieres’, and ‘The Ten Commandments’ took more liberties than an oversexed sailor in Shanghai. But those were the days spectacle superseded accuracy, and over-acting was the rule of foot. Those were also the qualities that made the aforementioned films great, or in the vernacular, “Larger than Life”.

And I am happy to say that the age of sweep and grandeur is coming back. I predicted this event with “Gladiator”, and films such as the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. But never, in the history of motion pictures, has state-of-the-art technology been so flawlessly merged with old-style direction and staging, as in the recently released “Troy”. Admittedly, I went to see it mainly because I love films like this, and besides, I wanted to see Brat-packer Brad Pitt try to flex and sex-up his way though a three hour romp.

What I got for my $5.50, (Nu? You don’t think I pay retail for this, do you?) was an afternoon of sweet nostalgia, and a reaffirmation that the art of true filmmaking is not dead. “Troy” is nothing short of stunning in every aspect. The art direction, and cinematography is so spectacular, it was as if Cecil B. DeMille had come back from the grave to spearhead the whole thing. Unlike “Gladiator’s” washed out colors and underplayed characters, “Troy” is bursting with color and rich cinematic textures. Brad Pitt is incredibly cast as Achilles, and gives the most flawless performance of his career since “Meet Joe Black”. In scenes where he could have easily let his torso do the talking, Pitt brilliantly downplays his ‘10’ body, and lets his talent carry the scene. Likewise, Orlando Bloom is impeccable as the lovesick prince, Paris, who connives to bring the beauteous Helen to Troy, saving her from her unhappy marriage. The writing is appropriately stilted, as befitting the subject matter and genre, and the scenery is indescribable, both in its beauty and almost imperceptible (even to a trained eye like mine,) marriage of live-action and CGI. The sprawl and cope of the production is such that one loses sight of the fact that a war that scholars say might have lasted as long as ten years is condensed into what seems to be a few weeks.

My only disdain is reserved for an annoying a cappella female voice chanting in completely inappropriate Arabic sounding music in the most absurd of places. I suppose the director thought since it worked in “Titanic” and “Gladiator”, it would carry through in “Troy”, but the overall effect was grating and disturbing, and times, downright irritating, such as when the Greek Army pours through the city, raping pillaging and burning, and all the while, the only sound is uncommonly like Miss Piggy trying to yodel.

That aside, “Troy” is a triumph of the film makers’ craft, and a feather in the cap of every person connected with it.

However for pure entertainment value, and gut-busting laughs, the movie of the year is unquestionably “Shrek 2”. Not only does it far surpass the original for character development, but the advancements in CGI make it almost impossible to believe that some of these creatures aren’t flesh and blood actors. But, techno-babble aside, the writing in “Shrek 2” is worthy of Mel Brooks and Mike Meyers. The good-natured asides at the expense of many other films and institutions, the almost shameless mis-incorporations of Disney, The Brothers Grimm, and Warner Brother’s animated characters, blend seamlessly into a storyline that flows like Niagara Falls, forcefully but in perfect keeping with nature. Not since “Goldmember” have I laughed so loud or so hard at a film. But with the likes of Mike Meyers, Cameron Diaz, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett, and Eddie Murphy combining, it seems unfathomable that the film could be anything short of dazzling. The characters are completely disarming, and the plot twists leave one with a gut-wrenching “Oh no, they wouldn’t…” followed by, “I can’t believe they did!” an all the while, splitting the audience’s sides with laughter. It’s a film that, even if CG animation isn’t your thing, will make you glad you went, and will leave you exiting the theater, saying, “God, I can’t wait for “Shrek 3”! Which, BTW, is in the works!

And this in from the “Zike Nisht Meshugga” department, former Disney CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg has announced plans for a new CGI animated series for television, entitled “Father of the Pride”, based on the exotic cats in the now farblondzet Las Vegas legends “Seigfried and Roy”. Roy Horn’s unfortunate accident a few months back has forever cancelled the long-running extravaganza, so now the team has been relegated to co-producing high-tech treyfe, such as this half-hour weekly series. According to one of my little birdies, the show will be, more or less, “Shrek” meets “Cosby”, as humankind’s family issues are visited upon the lions and tigers, (no bears? Oh, My!) such as finding catnip in their daughter’s den, (oy Gevaldt!) and other mundane and other gevaldikeh plotlines that are sure to make this show the farschlepte krenk of the season. Even with the voice overs of John Goodman, Carl Reiner, and Cheryl Hines, Katzenberg’s feeble attempt at pulling one last krolik out of his hat, seems at best, pathetic.

That’s all for this month Gang. Have a great month, and I’ll see you in July!
 

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