Well, we begin on a sad note this month, bidding a tearful farewell to James Coburn, who died of a heart attack at the age of 74. I had the privilege of working with Jim in 1973 in “Prime Cut”, and I knew him to be funny, warm, and a very generous, kind man. We’ll miss him!
Finally, things are starting to pick up in Tinsletown. The last few months have been dull beyond belief. It must have something to do with the winter solstice!
John Corbett, best known for his role in “Northern Exposure” has gone up a few hat sizes recently. Seems now that he’s starred in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, he thinks he’s too good for television, and won’t be returning to his old job of “Sex and the City”. Well, I’ve seen the movie, and while it’s quite good and very funny, John,….keep your day job!
Meanwhile, Rosie O'Donnell has filed a countersuit against the publishers of her old magazine. Now, Rosie is claiming they committed a ‘hostile takeover’! Nu? She walked out, remember?
I looks like this whole magazine meshuggas might be her funniest performance yet!
And over in the “Keep doing it ‘till you get it right” department, Nicole Kidman, is fast becoming the queen of remakes. Seems Frank Oz, (the voice of Fozzy Bear and Yoda,) will be directing her in a remake of the 1975 classic, “The Stepford Wives”. She’ll be playing Katherine Ross’ part of a recent newcomer to the town of Stepford where wives are robotocized. Well, she flopped trying to follow in Shirley MacLaine’s footsteps, so maybe Katherine Ross is an easier act to follow! And as if Kidman hasn’t made enough enemies in Hollywood, she now may add Reese Witherspoon to her list. Seems she stole the role of Samantha in the film version of “Bewitched” from Witherspoon who was in negotiations with the producers, then called Witherspoon on the phone to gloat! Oy vey, and we though bad losers were obnoxious!
Melissa Joan Hart is kvetching about her role as “Sabrina, the teen-aged Witch,”  insisting that now that Sabrina is all grown up, she wants a little more edge to the role. Hart feel that the writers are keeping her character too sophomoric and juvenile. She wants more mature storylines, and wants to make Sabrina a little more sexy. You go girl!
Alyssa Milano and Justin Timberlake are getting so serious, they’re talking rings. My sources tell me that they’re seriously discussing marriage. They’ve gone so far as to “meet the parents’ at a dual-family gathering at Hollywood’s ‘Joseph’s Café’! Rumor has it that Tony Danza might give the bride away! Just kidding gang, but it would be a cute twist!
And a big, Mazel Tov to Matthew Broderick and wife, Sara Jessica Parker on the birth of their son, Davis Perkins Broderick. Finally, a show biz couple, who give their kid a normal name! Parker’s pregnancy had caused some problems on her show, ‘Sex and the City’, because they had to hide her pregnancy, as it couldn’t be written into the storyline. Now all they’ll have to deal with is hiding the stretch marks!
Meanwhile, rumor has it that Anthony Hopkins is being seriously considered to replace the late Richard Harris as the Wizard ‘Dumbledorf’ in the future ‘Harry Potter’ flicks. And all the while, the producers were saying that Harris was ‘irreplaceable’. Just goes to show you that, in Hollywood, where there’s an eight-figure will, there’s a way!
And sad news for all you ‘Buffy’ fans; this will be the last season for the Vampire slayer’s exploits. Sarah Michelle Geller’s movie career is taking off, and she wants to devote her energies to the big screen, full time. Maybe her swan song will be in Washington D.C., where the real bloodsuckers are!
And, following in the footsteps of Jack Lemmon, Patrick Swayze, and Dustin Hoffman, Friends hunk Matt LeBlanc will be trading in his tight ‘t’s for a wig and mascara in his new movie, “All the Queen’s Men”. I saw a picture of him in his ‘drag’ and it was just that…a drag. I thought Wesley Snipes made an ugly woman, but wait ‘till you see this! Only Jamie Farr in “MASH” looked more absurd!
And in the “Pass the Buck” department, we’ve learned that now, the “Thief of Handbag’ Winona Ryder is claiming that her shoplifting spree was at the behest of the director of the movie she was doing, in which she plays a shoplifter. First she said the movie was entitled ‘Shopgirl’ but then she said it was named ‘White Jazz’. Hope she makes up her mind before the trial! Winona’s ‘haul’ consisted of designer items valued at $5704, including handbags, blouses, and scarves. Maybe if she’d lifted a fur coat, and said she was going to play the bear in a remake of “Grizzley Adams’ they’ve bought it. But for those of you who think that the world is coming down too hard on Ryder, consider this; according to ‘Entertainment Tonight’, Winona had been nailed a few times before, at such places as Bloomingdale’s where her agents paid for the merchandise she’d pilfered after the fact, to keep it all very hush-hush.
And, the most outrageous news this month, came from Shock-Jock, Howard Stern. His latest endeavor is to produce re-makes of the cult classics, “Porkey’s” and "Rock ‘n Roll High School”. The self-proclaimed King of All Media, said, “ Being immature myself, I want to bring more stupidity and childishness to a whole new generation.” Good luck Howard, but do us a favor and stay away from “The Wizard of Oz!”
And this in from the “Always a Bridesmaid” department, actor Owen Wilson, seems destined to be a second Banana forever, first as Jackie Chan’s sidekick in “Shanghai Noon”, then Ben Stiller’s support in “Zoolander”. Now, he’s once again playing second string, this time to Eddie Murphy in the new version of “I Spy”. Also, he will once again team up with Jackie Chan in the upcoming “Shanghai Noon 2”. Cheer up Owen, being second man isn’t so bad. After all, where would Abbott have been without Costello?
And for those of you who’ve not yet seen the new “Harry Potter” movie, what are you waiting for? This one is even better than the first one! I’ve seen it three times already, and look forward to seeing it still again. Kenneth Branaugh is sensational, and the kids are all as lovable as ever. Like the first one, it keeps up the pace and you never have a chance to get bored. You’ll get to Meet Ron Weasley’s family, and their flying car, which makes “Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang” look like a broken-down old AMC Pacer. The elf character Dobby, is a bit annoying, almost like a pre-prepubescent Jar-Jar Binks, but at least he’s cute, and you can forgive him his somewhat bizarre idiosyncrasies. Over all, it’s one of the best films I’ve ever seen!
So, that’s it gang. Hope your Thanksgiving was awesome, and your Chanukah ( and/or Christmas for those of us who hang with the Goyem, ) is the best ever.