We are a polarized society, and our country is divided on so many important issues that there is little patience for opposing views. I find myself frustrated and impatient when other people, for instance, just don’t understand why I am so obviously right (or in my case, left) about my political beliefs. Among the many blessings I have received from publishing the Megillah is the knowledge that people can listen and learn from each other, and that no one has a monopoly on truth. I have also discovered that sometimes people with diametrically opposed ideas reach out to each other and become good friends. Allow me to offer two examples.

A few years ago a relatively new subscriber blasted me for including an article by an author whom, to put it mildly, she loathed and despised. As I tried to explain that the article was not expressing my view but was merely a counter-point to a topic of the day, the more vitriol I received for choosing this author. It occurred to me that I might be dealing with a very obstinate and unreasonable person so I should politely extricate myself from the ongoing conversation. Happily, my plan did not work, and we instead entered into an increasingly friendly and close email correspondence, which begat telephone calls, and ultimately a visit to her home by Arnold and me. We spent a delightful two days as our subscriber’s houseguest, and we have become the closest of friends ever since.

About a month ago, I received an email responding to an anti-Bush editorial I wrote. The letter I received laid me out in lavender for being un-American, anti-Israel, and that was the nice part. My first impulse was to respond in kind and suggest he unsubscribe from our mailing list. What can I tell you? One letter led to another, and suddenly the animus and vitriol subsided and the gentler nature of my correspondent emerged. We started exchanging information about our families, values, beliefs and discovered we really were not so far a part in our opinions after all. As a matter of fact, he admitted that other than the “War on Terror,” he thought Bush was pretty much a jerk. You can only guess how my lips immediately spread into a broad and bright smile.

These two instances demonstrate how people sometimes reach out to one another. The original pretext for contact may become almost irrelevant as the relationship develops. This shows how resisting the impulse of a knee-jerk reaction can often lead to a deeper understanding and respect for other people. Consideration for others allows us to open our minds to ideas to which we have not previously given much thought.

Yes, there are some jerks out there (not to mention any names) but my personal experience has been that often first impressions are not necessarily the best window to an individuals’ character. If we invest the time to get to know people we think of as potential adversaries, we might very well discover an ally and a soul-mate. Naturally, this works both ways because the person we originally thought of as a jerk probably thought the same of us. One person’s jerk can be the same person’s hero.

On this coming Thanksgiving holiday, let’s spare a moment to be thankful for all the jerky friends we have in our lives. Without them, our existence would be much less interesting and satisfying.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones from Arnold, Rosco (the Pug) and me.

Michael