In response to your last letter where you raised the question regarding the possibilities of Kosher and Treyf vegetables I decided to ask the experts. By experts, I mean the AKs (alter kockers) who hang out at our local Synagogue. Every Synagogue has them. They are here for morning prayers then hang around until Mincha-Marev playing poker or klabiash with a couple of old dog eared greasy playing cards that someone got from the Casino years ago. The holes that the Casino punches in the decks that are given away do not bother the AKs. Like Marvin the AK maven says,

“It is like a little Bris; you take a little bit away and the remaining part is Kosher.”

Speaking of Kosher, here is what was decided. If Jewish Vegans want to be Kosher like normal Jews then they must learn to do without. At this point Harry interjected:

“There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ Jew”. Shmulek added:

“But they already do without; no meat no dairy and no eggs.”

“But” I said, “Just as some people are Kosher and some are ‘Glatt’ Kosher or Kosher Kosher some Vegans want to be Glatt Vegans or Kosher Vegans.

“Okay, okay “shouted Marvin. “So let's give them some treyf vegetables. Rhubarb is delicious but the leaves are poisonous, so let's make rhubarb leaves treyf.”

“Hey,” says Chaim “That not good enough because no-one eats those anyhow. Take away celery root then it is like a cow where only the front half is Kosher and the best part the rear end is not.”

“That’s because the rear is where the manure is from," added Shmulek. “So, and does the celery root grow ‘kop in dreard oder tukhes in dreard’? (Head in earth or ass in earth) replies Marvin. Rhubarb leaves and celery root are out. But lets rule out an entire class of plants lets eliminate all tree leaves. The only tree leaves that are ever used are bay leaves, grape leaves and lime leaves, so let's rule tree leaves as treyf.”

“But, but” sputtered Chaim “You got to have a reason!"

“Why do we need a reason?" Replies Marvin. “Lobster is treyf and I am told is delicious while their fellow arthropods locusts and grasshoppers are disgusting creatures and are kosher. You tell me why.”

“Hey” Shmulek exclaims suddenly feeling left out of the discussion. "Let us add horseradish, since they don’t eat gefilteh fish they won't even miss it.”

Well, Michael everyone started to talk at the same time and come up with similar screwy ideas so I went home.

Here at least is a partial list of treyf vegetation:

Rhubarb leaves
Celery root
All tree leaves
Horseradish