There may be those among you who support including Spanish as our national language. I, for one, am dead set against it! We should preserve the sanctity of the English language.

To all the schlemiels, schlimazels, nebbishes,  nudniks, klutzes, putzes, shlubs, shmoes, shmucks, nogoodniks, and momzers that are lurking out there in the crowd, I just wanted to say that I, for one, get sentimental when I think about English, and its place in our society.

To tell the truth, it makes me so farklempt, I'm fit to plotz. This whole schmeer gets me broyges. When I hear these mavens, and luftmenschen, kvetching about our national language, I am livid about their chutzpah!

These shmegeges can tout their shlock about the cultural, and linguistic, diversity of our country, and of English itself; but I, for one, am not buying their shtick. It's all so much dreck, as far as I'm concerned. I exhort you all to be menshen about this, and stand up to their fardrayte arguments, and meshugganah, farshtunkene, assertions.

Remember, when all is said, and done, we have English, and they've got bubkes! The whole myseh is a pain in the tuchas!

Submitted by Lewis Kupperman