This and That
Issue: 10.06 this is column 310
July 3, 2009
Israel is the Only Country in the World :

Where one is unlikely to be able to dig a cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts.

Israel is the only country in the world that introduces applications of high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print out your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and decades ahead of Europe.

Where the coffee is already so good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local market.

Where people cuss using dirty words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.

Where one need not check the ingredients on the products in the supermarket to avoid ending up with things containing pork.

Where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you the bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if you look like you need it.

Where no one cares what rules say when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.

Where reservists are bossed around and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.

Where "small talk" consists of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.

Whose soldiers eat three sets of salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not really a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal, rather than something one tosses into a martini.

Where their leaders take busses and trains.

Where the graffiti is in Hebrew.

Where the "black folks" walking around all wear yarmulkes.

Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book Week, during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.

Where the ultra-Orthodox Jews beat up the police and not the other way around.

Where inviting someone "out for a drink" means drinking cola, coffee or tea.

Where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they leave with their loot.

Where  the weather and landscape is like  California without the earthquakes.

Where no one has a foreign accent because everyone has a foreign accent.

Where patients visiting physicians end up giving the doctor advice.

Where people call an attache case a "James Bond" and the "@" sign is called a "strudel".

Where there is the most mysterious and mystical calm ambience in the streets on Yom Kippur, which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it.

Sunsets in Jerusalem gorgeous every evening.

Israel is the only country in the world where  people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish.

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