This month, I offer up two reviews of films, both much anticipated and with highly polarized emotions. Hopefully, my dubiously reliable views will be of some help to you my readers with an eye toward sorting through the Sturm and Dreck….er, Drang of the summer releases.

First is the rumor laden “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, the remake of the 70s classic, “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate factory” starring the ever loveable Gene Wilder. Why Tim Burton chose to change the title is anyone’s guess, but probably to differentiate his version from the original. In any case, as he did with “The Addams Family”, Burton has brought forth a masterpiece, capturing the charm and heart of the original screen version, but with an updated beat and cast. This is a film that changes what it could without loosing the meat and potatoes of the story. Not since Jude Law danced his way through “Artificial Intelligence” has an actor astounded me with his versatility and ability to ingratiate as Johnny Depp does. This is his finest performance in years, almost better than his swashbuckling Stan Laurelesque pirate in “Pirates of the Caribbean”. All the characters you would expect are there, including the Oompa-Loompas, who pontificate in song throughout the movie. While Depp’s ‘Wonka’ is more polarized than Wilders, he brings to the overall film a depth and mystery to this version that the original lacked. Even the most stubborn of purists will love this one, and will be blown away by the sheer scope of the production. I’m going to leave the rest of the casting as a surprise…God knows, it surprised the hell out of me! The film is scheduled to open July 17th, and one word of advice….don’t take a hat to the theater, because you’ll only wind up throwing it in the air with joy!

But while I come to praise Wonka, I come to bury another film, which would be far more merciful than the slow, lingering death I believe it’s going to get at the box office. As you’ll recall, I was aghast at the casting of Nicole Kidman as ‘Samantha’ in the remake of the television classic “Bewitched”. I went into the screening, still convinced that Nicole Kidman as Samantha was the worst casting since they put the septuagenarian Lucille Ball into the forty-something character of “Mame”.

Well, my dears, after the screening, I was obliged to dine sumptuously on so much crow, I’ve since passed enough feathers to make a bird costume for Rosie O’Donnell. Shedding her penchant for cheap floozy portrayals, Kidman manages to capture Elizabeth Montgomery’s unique combination of playful innocence with smoldering sensuality. She manages to be one of the few shining aspects of an otherwise abhorrent convolution of a story line that makes the whole thing difficult to follow.

The story-within-a-story concept is a distraction from otherwise excellent performances from Kidman, Will Ferrell, (Darrin,) and the ever brilliant Shirley MacLain, (whose ‘Endora” is dead-on,) but even their combined talents and the subtle-to-perfection special effects can’t make up for a storyline that’s too complicated, and in some cases makes Abbot and Costello’s ‘Who’s on First’ routine make perfect sense.

The story is actually about the making of a remake (Nu?) of the original; only this time the focus star is Ferrell who plays an actor who insists that all the other cast members be relative unknowns. Unbeknownst to Ferrell, Kidman’s role is played by a real witch, and from there the whole movie lumbers along like an Alzheimer’s patient lost at a mall. In the end, the audience is left with a feeling of emptiness, wondering what director Nora Ephron (who co-wrote the script as well,) was thinking, and why she didn’t just go with the original concept, a formula that worked well with films like “The Addams Family”, “The Little Rascals” and “The Beverly Hillbillies” film treatments. In concept, Ephron’s idea might have been a good one, but on screen it presents a finished product that never seems to know which way it’s going. Yes, it’s entertaining in a way, but it’s not the ‘Bewitched’ we baby boomers grew up with, and those of us who remember the series fondly will feel somehow betrayed by the whole thing.

Using the obligatory five-star scale, I give it two stars, and that’s being generous. Not since the mid-nineties remake of “Miracle on 34th Street” has a story been so badly corrupted and for no apparent reason, save the director’s ego in thinking that their ideas are better than those of the original creators.

This film will only aggravate you if you’re die-hard fan of the series,. My advice is, save your money and watch the reruns.